holy dooly

 hello fellow scholars,

it's been a long few months. sorry i have not posted! i forgot this existed i fear. i guess i will update you now? 

school

well it's nearly the end of year 12 and my high school life in general. i truly never thought i would make it this far. i honestly still can't believe it! i only have like two more weeks of classes and then it's SWOTVAC and then exams and honestly i am strugglinggggggg. i am a huge procrastinator who gets herself through school and sacs by being lucky and having a good memory but now i actually have to study and it's definitely caught up to me. i am very stressed!!!!!! but whatever. i'm just ready to graduate atp. it's a bittersweet ending to high school i guess. i am very much sick of all my subjects and i don't ever want to do them again. i am also aiming for like a 95+ atar but that feels more and more unrealistic by the day. so idk. i will try and lock in and the panic will set in soon enough but yeah. okay next!

current interests

tbh i have not had a lot of time to indulge in my interests and hobbies so it's mainly just been reading... things. no i will not elaborate if you know then you know. anyway! i still am into the same things as always and i love gojo satoru <3 he's literally my man. 

social life

i'm very grateful for my bestest friends in the world.

production

MY PEAKKKKKK production this year was actually amazing. albeit lots happened during the shows, but overall it was probably my favourite production! the year 12s in cast got sooo much closer and it was so nice. and a lot of my friends/friend group also joined prod so it was so fun!!! we all basically got to hangout nonstop for weeks and i was just so grateful my last production was a good one. shrek the musical you will be remembered!! these are some crazy moments and highlights:

- when i had to DUB FIONA AT THE YEAR 8 MATINEE... actually kinda traumatising luckily i only did 2 songs. that show was actually cursed omd. 

- my characters! i loved being teen fiona and a blind mice. i got my moments to shine without too much pressure of a main role which i definitely appreciate now. 

- insane quick changes. i lowkey died during all those back to back changes but thank god for SOME of the h&mu girlies who helped me.

- the songs and dances were very fun. although we weren't actually on for a lot of the show i still enjoyed them ESPECIALLY FREAK FLAG that was my fav. oh and dancing at the end of finale! 

overall production was great and my post musical depression was very strong after it and i miss it dearly. idk if i will ever do theatre again so that may have been my last musical EVER. idk. we will see. i will forever love production even with all my complaints constantly.

career goals/future goals

rip to my radiography dream. my current goal is to do a bachelor of construction management at rmit ! why you may ask? because i am a nepo baby. my dad does quantity surveying (estimating costs for construction stuff) and i think i will just follow in his footsteps. here is why:

pros:

- 9-5 corporate job meaning work life balance and steady 

- in demand job

- good pay :)

- i have connections, a literal mentor at home, and an internship lined up. maybe more!

- it's not that hard i guess? like i'm not saving someone's life. it will definitely have its stress and stuff but it's not awful. or physically taxing.

- i get to a be corporate girlboss and wear cute skirts and go for lunch w my other corporate girlies!

- there's still a social aspect to the jon (dealing with clients and working with others) but not THAT much 

- possible scholarships!!! (depending on atar and other stuff)

cons:

- it's not my passion. but nothing is my passion so i might as well do a job with a high pay and safety

- my uni course is likely filled with scary men. SAVE ME.

- i don't know if i can handle a 9-5 and the job's requirements

- it might be the most boring job in the world and make me want to kms.

as you can see, the pros outweigh the cons but the cons are defo strong. whatever at least i have a career ahead of me.

mental health/overall wellbeing

now that winter's over i am definitely mentally better! it obviously still has its bad days, especially with recent life developments, but there's been an improvement. it helped that production kept me busy. but now that i have no more production and it's exam season and also just life i definitely feel it starting to tank a little bit. i'm just trying to keep my head afloat and stay grateful for my friends and life. however,,, lowkey my long covid (chronic illness) has been worse which is crazy?? because winter is over... anyway. i'm just always dying more often than not but like it's whatever i guess. i can't do anything about it (ahem. CHRONIC) and there's not anything to help my symptoms so it's just so saddening. i have definitely crashed out over this a lot. i just really don't want to live the rest of my life being so... sick. anyways whatever i guess at least it's somewhat bearable and i'm not like terminally ill i guess.

well, that's my update i guess! same old same old. i cannot wait for summer and to graduate. that future lorne trip is what is keeping me going. oh well just have to get through like two more months, 

love, from your favourite scholar, 

sue anne 💕