six sueven

hello fellow scholars,

i told myself i would be more consistent with blog posts after my last one. it has been 3 months since the last post so clearly i did not follow through. anyway, here is my update from the past few hectic months!

school

IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. ironic for me to say as a "scholar" but wow i am finally free from the shackles of high school. while i definitely hated most of it especially in previous years, the bittersweet moments from ending high school and graduatin have made me cherish it and enjoy it a little more. i am sad that we are leaving, mostly because i won't be able to see all my friends daily and hang out with them constantly. however, i will NOT miss the stress of sacs and exams and studying and crying. but i will forever cherish and miss all the good moments - the recesses and lunches of laughter, band, production, music lessons, yapping in class, the connections i've formed with my teachers, all my juniors, and most of all my friends. it's become clear to me that many friendships i've formed with people have been from proximity in classes and a shared connection of suffering in the same class, and being able to keep up these friendships post high school will be extremely difficult. okay i'm actually quite sad while writing this because i'm gonna miss so many of those friendships where i'm not the closest to a person but i do enjoy talking to them because i'm probably not gonna talk to so many of these people again :( with my closest friends of course i'll miss seeing them often but i know for sure we will meet up and hang out. with the class friendships, i can really only connect through social media. sigh.

on another note, i'm gonna miss the routine of school. as much as i hated waking up at 7am daily and having to sit through grueling classes, the routine was comfortable and i was so used to it. this was my life for 6 years. what do you mean i have to change it now... likeeee i'm not made for ts. anyways.

our last week of school was really sweet! we had so many celebrations - handprints (idk what they do with them tho), future self dress up day, modified uniform day (so stressful to make but it was cute in the end), soccer match, signing of shirts (i got more signatures than i thought i would LOL), and colour throw (it was so bittersweet). there was also this lunch the next day but it was lowkey bum and was gross.

then came exams. oooh boy. that was a hell i never want to relive. not that i studied tbh, but it was stressful as fuck anyway. ela was probably my best exam and it was first LOL. my music performance exam was surprisingly not bad, it went better than i thought even with a few mishaps. i think i just had no expectations going in LOL. i had also been having nightmares about that day for the WHOLE YEAR so i was really glad it was over. i lowkey had an anxiety attack right before it but whatever lmao. music written on the other hand... i did NOT study for that at all and it was my last exam so by then i really just gave up. oh well. chem was shit and so was spec exam 1. but methods 1, 2, and spec 2 lowkey were not awful. spec exam 1 made me feel so bad that i emailed an apology to my spec teacher LMAOOO. i have hopes for methods and ela tho!! okay enough of exams its done i'm not thinking about this until the 11th of december (10 DAYS WHAT).

after exams i had like a week and a half of bliss as i went out EVERY SINGLE DAY and it was amazing. then came valedictory! that was a week ago from me writing this post right now. getting ready was stressful as my hair was NOT curling and i was fighting with my falsies (when do i not), and i was scared the night would be boring as hell. however, it was anything but! i saw people i hadn't seen in a while but i lowkey did not manage to get many pics with them... sigh. but then i had a MEGA SWEEP with awards. sorry for bragging it's still just crazy to me:

- instrumental award (i get this yearly so nothing new)

- prod award (same as instrumental award)

- MUSICIAN OF THE YEAR??? (girl wtf... this was crazy)

- 6 subjects merit award (highest merit!) (they counted instrumental music as a subject which is the only reason i got this LMAOOO i should not have gotten all 6... also only 4 winners for this. crazyyy like why am i there with the sweats i literally did not lock in this year and played cards EVERY DAY)

- STUDENT OF THE FUCKING YEAR. (girl WHAT. who picked this. me. random ahh loser girl from a group of 200+ students. helloooooo. my methods teacher told me he voted for me meaning this is teacher voted award ig. WHICH TEACHERS VOTED FOR ME. i'm still in shock lmao)

i also got $100 from the musician of the year award and $400 from the student of the year award. thanks for the money school!

okay that's the end of me blogging about school for a longgggg time, until uni. sayonara school!

social life

I GOT A BOYFRIEND YALL. LIKE WHATTTTT. i was so hellbent on being single and not dating and i lowkey used to be an #ihatemyboyfriend warrior (the tiktoks were just so funny) but here i am. and i'm truly so happy. but also, he's my ex... crazy... hi babe if you're reading this i love you <3 

we didn't talk for 3 whole years, then had a random real conversation together after tuition once this year, and now we're here! life is crazy. but we ball.

my bestest friends are still my bestest friends :) i am very grateful for them, and i somewhat reconnected with my best friend E because we grew a little distant but i am glad to have her closer again. of course i'm still so so grateful and i love my other besties J, A, C, B <3 further, i am very grateful for my extended and bigger friend group (HFE), they truly are a riot and make every hangout fun! 

i also have just went out a lot recently and i am grateful for all my friends who i've recently hung out with!! thanks for making my holidays fun.

lorne

FINALLY. I WENT TO LORNE. AFTER MONTHS OF THIS BEING MY ONLY BEACON OF LIGHT THROUGHOUT THE YEAR, THE LORNE TRIP HAPPENED. it was SOOOO good i had so so so much fun. it was the 8 of us, and i'll be honest i was a little scared going into the trip but i genuinely had such a good time. beach, cooking with friends, sightseeing, playing games, drinking, movie night, so many photos, sunrise walk, ahh i miss it. it also bonded us a lot as a group and i am so happy the trip happened. minimal/basically no mishaps too! i hope we make this a yearly trip and we can start a tradition :)

career/future goals

i don't really want to think about this so i won't :)

mental health/overall wellbeing

mental health has been honestly great since school ended and i got into a loving relationship and i've just been so BUSY with plans that i don't need to think. i have no money to keep funding my plans however so hopefully i don't fall into a depressive slump soon (tho i can lowkey feel one coming... sigh). i really am trying to get better tho and i told myself not to ghost my therapist again so i may see her within the next few months! with my overall health... it's the same. sigh. when i am not constantly exhausted and needing a nap a few hours after waking up. will i ever get better? who knows! 

well, that's it from me currently. sorry if it was long - actually not really this is my blog you can deal with my yap. #trustme i will update consistently. i hope life continues on an up hill climb!

love, from your favourite scholar, 

sue anne 💞